She used to eat anything, even vegetables and fruits, but for months now she will only eat certain things! Abby is getting that way too, but I can get her to eat some things that Hannah won't.
For dinner last night, we had hamburger pie (Some might know it better as shepards pie).
It was my favorite food growing up, I'd beg my mom to make it, and I still really like it now.
Hannah took one look at it and said "I dont like it anymore" and wouldnt touch it.
We said "Tough, this is what we are having for dinner, so you eat it or go hungry."
Then she said it was too hot! She uses that excuse a lot!
We told her "Abby is eating hers, it's not too hot for her"
Then we kept asking her to take a bite, etc, all the while we were eating too.
She kept telling us it was hot. She hadnt even tried a single bite yet, and it was definetly not hot, Abby was eating all hers.
Brad and Abby finished, so he cleaned up Abby, I moved to where Brad was sitting next to Hannah so I could get her to try some.
I had to feed her some bites to get her to have some.
With each bite, she'd act like she was going to gag or throw up, but she'd swallow it.
I had given her about 3 or so bites. I told her if she wanted down, she needed to have 3 more bites, which I ended up having to feed her too. So I said "Good job, you can get down now"
And she said "No, I want some more, it's good." and ate one more bite before she got down.
What the heck? Why does she make us fight with her to eat her food? She obviously likes it a little bit if she will take another bite when she doesnt have to. I know after a while of fighting with her on it, it becomes a power struggle and she only doesnt want to do it because we want her to, but why does it even have to go there before she will eat some? Why can't she just try a bite when we first give her the food, before either of us is upset?
I can't decide how to handle the "I don't like this" that we get from her.
Part of me wants her to eat it anyway, if I take the time to cook dinner for them, I want them to appreciate what I do and I don't like hearing that it's "yucky". Part of me wants to MAKE her eat it anyway. But the other part of me wants her to learn about her choices and the consequences. I keep thinking we should just say "Ok, if you don't want to eat dinner today, thats fine, but we aren't eating again until breakfast, so you will be very hungry."
If we do it that way, I can't decide whether or not we should put away her food and if she says she is hungry before bed, get it out again and that is what she has to eat or nothing. Or if she says she is hungry then say "Too bad, dinner is over now and you chose not to eat, we will have breakfast in the morning. Maybe you will want to eat dinner tomorrow" But then I think that is too harsh too, I can't imagine putting her to bed hungry, but is that the only way she will learn to eat what we make?
I do know that I absolutely will not make special meals for them! If we are eating something they like for dinner and they both eat it up, thats different, I will not make them special meals when they don't eat what we are having for dinner. I am not a short order cook, I dont have the time to make different meals for everyone, and I won't allow them to be spoiled that way either.
All you experienced parents out there, what is the best way to handle this? I know it's probably not a good idea to force her to eat, I dont want to have power struggles with her. Do you think it's better to just let her say no to dinner and then if she is hungry, her same dinner comes out again?
Also, how do I get her to eat things she has decided she doenst like?
Is it just not that big of deal? For example, she wont eat corn (What kid doesnt like corn?), any vegetable (Which I do understand, I didnt like anything but corn as a kid), Fruit of any kind unless it's a banana or applesauce (Wont eat an apple any other way). Casseroles or anything that have corn in it, she wont pick around the corn.
Do I just keep serving things to her even though I know she wont eat it, or not even give them as options?
Abby is a better eater right now, but she is starting to do what Hannah does. I think she does it just to copy Hannah.
If thats the case, how can I get Abby to continue to eat things that Hannah wont? Hannah is a big influence on Abby.
Anyway, if you actually read all of this, sorry it ended up so long. Thanks for "listening"
And just because every blog entry is better with a picture, here are some of Hannah back in her "Good eater" days.
4 comments:
Ah kids and food- so fun!! Sounds like you did good by sticking to your guns and having her eat some bites. I definitely agree, DO NOT make any special meal for the kids. What we do is we always have them eat some of their dinner before they can get down from the table. If I feel they left a lot of it I will leave it out and if they say they are hungry before dinner I say they have to eat more of their dinner.
As far as foods they don't like, such as veggies and fruit I tell Kaitlyn that she has to try at least one bite. I tell her that she may not like it now, but that every time she tries one bite she gets closer and closer to liking it. There are things she used to not like as much before that she likes a little better now. I think it is easier to reason with them as they get older. When they are two and three they just want to exert their independence. They are not reasonable (as you know, since she said she didn't like dinner but then at the end of her 6 bites, she said it was good). The best thing you can do is stay consistent. Don't tell them they have to eat dinner, then they don't and an hour later when they are hungry give them something else. Seems like you already figured that out. Now you just got to keeping sticking with it and your kids will learn you are serious and then it won't be such a big deal. I also make sure to let Kaitlyn choose a dinner she wants me to make during the week so she knows that we will make some of her favorites too (I am talking adult meals like Chicken Alfredo, not mac and cheese). Good luck!
Welcome to the age of picky eaters. Everything you mentioned is good. Stick to your guns and have her at least try it. With my kids they at least have to try it. Then if they don't eat it I tell them it that or nothing and if they choose not to meat it they don't get anything else I mean nothing else not even dessert. They do eat until breakfast because its not worth the arguing that goes on. They aren't going to starve if they miss one meal. I've heard from many people that have heard from there Doctors that a childs appetite peaks like every 24 hour thats why somedays they eat better than like the day before. Just remember if she has to go to bed hungry she going to be ok. My kids are and then I also get better eaters because they know my rules.
For me, with my littles this is how it works:
I make a meal. Baby has 20-30 minutes to eat said meal. If baby has not eaten the meal within the designated time-frame (of course it could be longer if you have a slow eater and tolerate that), then they are told "oh, I'm sorry, you decided not to eat. You will be very hungry for breakfast tomorrow. You are excused from the table, and you will not get anything else to eat tonight" and then put them from the table and clean up their dishes as usual.
As for foods they absolutely WONT eat. . keep offering them anyway. My Tank doesn't eat green beans, but he gets them every time I fix them and he's learning to eat them.
I know you wrote this forever ago, but I thought I would throw this in there. My grandma told me that as parents we have the responsibiliy to OFFER good foods to our children. If they choose not to accept it, then that is their choice. We have to alow them their agency, as they will learn more from their own choices than from enforced rules.
I suppose this is just a long way of saying that everything you are doing is perfect. Make sure she tries it, then let her know that is her only option. It just always makes me feel better to know that by offerig her healthy meals I am fulfilling my end of he deal. When she gets hungry enough, she will eat what is offered.
When she realizes that this food thing is not going to be battle, then she will put down her boxing gloves, and it just won't be all that important anymore. They need to know that they have a choice, but that consequences (that should ALWAYS be clearly stated beforehand) will be an inevitability.
Another thing that has heloed with Emma is that I will allow her to choose between different names for the same meal. She really does not like tacos, but she likes meat and cheese and lettuce and taco shells. For some reason, there is a HUGE difference to her. Same thing with Chicken Alfredo- she hates it, but she really likes chicken and noodles.
This way I give her an option without really giving her an option. "Do you want chicken and noodles, or Chicken Alfredo" It's the same thing, but she feels that she had a choice, and I get her to eat a good meal without catering to her every whim. Does that make any sense? I hope things get better- that food thing can get really old! Love you!
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